


Already Yours

by SoloraGoldsun



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of blood, Scene Rewrite, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23399659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloraGoldsun/pseuds/SoloraGoldsun
Summary: In the aftermath of their latest encounter with her father, Yukimura reaches out to Yamazaki as he makes a futile effort to distance himself from her. (Or, a complete redo of the kiss scene in Edo Blossoms.)
Relationships: Yamazaki Susumu/Yukimura Chizuru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Already Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, new fandom! Nice to meet you. Seems you’re in need of some fanfics, am I right?
> 
> I bought the Hakuoki games on Steam during the New Years sale, started playing in February, and kept going until last night, when I finished with Yamazaki’s route. Since I have spent a total of seventy plus hours on these games, I think it’s safe to say that I absolutely love them! I noticed, unfortunately, that there is a pretty small amount of fanfics for this fandom, despite the fact that the games have been around since 2008. I have decided to fix that, because I’m already starving for more content.
> 
> Now, my favorite character in Kyoto Winds was, hands down, Yamazaki Susumu. (I’m going with the correct Japanese order when I say their names in fics, unless I do some Modern AU fics that take place in the States, which I likely will do at some point.) I loved how his relationship with Yukimura felt like so much more of a mutual experience than most of the others. While many routes are filled with Yukimura feeling useless and guilty due to her inability to fight, Yamazaki gives her confidence and makes her realize that she has her own strength, acting as a mentor as she hones her skills as a medic. I could go on about how much I love him, but that would probably double the size of this document.
> 
> It was unfortunate that his Edo Blossoms route was rushed, very low on romantic moments, and an overall meh experience. That’s my opinion, anyway. I also really did not enjoy their kiss scene. It was too fast, and the blood felt wholly unnecessary. So, I decided that my first fic for this fandom would be a complete redo.
> 
> Enjoy!

It had been only a day since we settled in the shogunate encampment with Doctor Matsumoto, and I could already tell that something was terribly wrong with Yamazaki. It went beyond his wounds, which were enough of a burden to him already. No, this was something different, something that was eating away at him from the inside.

I had seen that closed-off, angry expression before, during the battle of Toba-Fushimi, just before Yamazaki had confided in me his feelings of helplessness. Self-deprecation had dripped from his voice as he described his longing to join his comrades in battle rather than being a shadow on the sidelines.

Helplessness. Longing. They had been difficult to behold then, but they were downright agonizing now.

Over the course of the day, as I did whatever chores I could help with around the encampment, I worked up the courage to talk to Yamazaki. Evening came, and I approached his room, only to stop short as Doctor Matsumoto emerged.

“Oh!” I exclaimed in surprise, immediately reading the doctor’s face for any sign of distress. “Is everything okay?”

“Ah, Yukimura,” he greeted, smiling kindly even as his eyes betrayed deep exhaustion. “I was just changing Yamazaki’s bandages. You’ll be pleased to know that his wounds are looking better.”

My heart grew just a bit lighter with the news. After learning of my father’s experiments with anti-Fury poisons (experiments once performed on me, no less!), I had nursed a nagging worry that maybe Yamazaki’s condition would suddenly take a turn for the worst.

“Thank you, Doctor Matsumoto. I cannot describe how grateful I am that you found us when you did.” It was a sentiment I had expressed before, but it certainly deserved to be repeated. I bowed deeply.

“I’m glad I found you,” he replied. “If I had missed you, and learned of your deaths later, well…” He shook his head. “I’ve lost too many people just over the past few weeks. Any life saved is a blessing.” He hesitated, then leaned closer. “I just hope you can convince this fool to hold onto his a little longer.”

My heart stopped. “What?”

Doctor Matsumoto shook his head. “Nothing new has come up, but I cannot stress enough how much he needs to rest. I know I can’t stop him from continuing this vendetta you both have, but I hope you can at least convince him to not leap before looking.”

It was true, I realized with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Yamazaki had said before that he was prepared to die “a second time,” as he saw it. Being prepared was one thing, but it was all too easy for “prepared” to turn to “eager” when it came to the Shinsengumi’s men.

“I trust him with his own wellbeing more than I trusted Okita,” Doctor Matsumoto continued, a shadow of guilt entering his eyes. “But that isn’t saying much. You, at least, have a head on your shoulders.”

“I will look after him,” I vowed. It was a given, after all. No matter what happened next, my path would be the same as Yamazaki’s, because walking any other way would be like pressing shards of glass into my bare feet.

“Good.” Doctor Matsumoto rested a comforting hand on my shoulder and, for a moment, the warm weight brought back more bittersweet thoughts of my father. He seemed to notice the slight hitch in my breath, because his smile became just a bit softer, and he squeezed my shoulder in a brief, gentle gesture. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” he whispered kindly before walking away, likely to check on someone else. I don’t know when he slept, if ever.

I took a moment, steeling myself before opening the door to Yamazaki’s room. He was already looking in my direction, his gaze calm and unbroken. I realized that he must have been listening to my conversation with the doctor. My cheeks grew warm, but it wasn’t as if we were saying anything that was untrue.

“I-I was just stopping by to check on you,” I started. “Would you like any tea or food?”

Yamazaki shook his head. “I am well. My wounds are healing, and I am not about to jump into a battle just yet.” He smiled wryly in response to my gasp. “So, you don’t need to keep an eye on me.”

“That’s not…” I trailed off, suddenly unsure how to begin. “Yamazaki, I… I’ve noticed how you’ve been since our fight with my father. It isn’t just your injuries. You’re worried about something.” I walked over and sat down next to him on the mat near his bed. 

“Bottling up your emotions can be bad for your health, you know,” I pointed out, making my voice slightly teasing to ease some of the tension in the air.

Yamazaki didn’t smile. Instead, he stared at the ground for a long moment, long enough to make me wonder if I shouldn’t just leave after all.

“Yukimura… What exactly are your plans after this?” he asked slowly.

“Huh?” Out of all the things he could have brought up, this was not on the list of things I had expected. “After defeating my father, you mean?”

He nodded. “Yes. Will you return to Edo, or maybe seek out other Demons?”

I opened my mouth to say “I want to be with you,” but quickly closed it. If he was asking this question in the first place, could that mean that he doesn’t want me to follow him?

No. I came in here to be honest with him. Placing a steadying hand over my heart, I responded. “I want to go wherever you go, Yamazaki. I’ll have no family ties when this is over. There is nothing I have to do after stopping my father, so I’m happy to leave the decision in your hands.”

Whether that meant returning to the Shinsengumi, or traveling to the ends of the earth to find a cure for Furies, I was ready for whatever lay ahead. I had made that decision long ago. Whether he accepted or rejected me, it was best to get it out of the way. I tried not to tremble as I braced myself for his answer.

He stared at me, his eyes glistening, his mouth slightly open. Then, he turned abruptly away. “That would be a mistake,” he muttered.

Those words were like a knife being twisted in my belly. Tears came unbidden to my eyes. “What…?”

Yamazaki shook his head, a familiar, unwavering light entering his eyes. “I know you once told me that you would follow me on my path, even into darkness, but…” He fixed me with a cold, violet gaze. “I will not ask you to do so. I promised back then that I would protect you, but I’m more of a danger to you at this point.”

“You are not-!” I started to protest, when his sharp voice cut me off.

“I could have gotten you killed!” he snapped. “I threw myself into a doomed mission to save Kondou, and dragged you along with me. Before that, I was so lost in my bloodlust that I…I…” He took a shuddering breath. “I held my own blade to your throat.”

He swallowed a sob. So, the events of Kofu Castle still pained him. “I don’t know how you still trust me,” he continued. “But you shouldn’t. You _can’t_. It’s too dangerous.”

“I went with you because I wanted to,” I reminded him, angrily wiping away my tears as they tried to blur my vision of him. “Because Kondou was important to me too. As for what happened at Kofu,” I placed a hand over my throat, my unmarked throat that he hadn’t cut.

“You didn’t hurt me. You came back to yourself.” I tried to smile comfortingly at him. “You may be a Fury, but you aren’t a monster.”

“I only regained my senses because of you,” Yamazaki muttered. “Because of your blood.” His expression became even more pained. “You deserve better than that, Yukimura. You have so much to offer the world. You shouldn’t be acting as nourishment for an unstable monster who could snap at any time.”

“You are _not_ a monster!” My voice came out louder and angrier than I had intended, and I saw Yamazaki visibly jump back. I didn’t care, though. I had to say this. “You are a wonderful person, and you also have a great deal to offer the world, more than you realize. I won’t let you give up. If my blood is what keeps you sane, it’s yours.”

I braced myself to say the next part, as it was very possible that what it would be enough to make Yamazaki disgusted with me. Still, I couldn’t bear to hold back when he was suffering so much.

“In all honesty, I enjoy giving you my blood.”

His back stiffened, and he let out a sound halfway between a gasp and the choking-off of one’s breath.

“I’m happy,” I continued. “Knowing that I’m the one helping you. It’s…thrilling to give myself to you, to know that a part of me is within you.” I was clenching my hands tightly by this point, fingernails digging into my palms. “I am honored to offer myself to you, Yamazaki, whenever you need me.”

“Yukimura…” His voice was strained, and when I looked up, I could see that his cheeks were bright red. He looked away abruptly just as our eyes met. He stared at the wall, taking shaky breaths, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he could speak again.

“You need to be careful,” he said finally. “With what you say.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head quickly, as if he was trying to dislodge something from his hair. “When a woman says something like that to a man…” He said in a halting voice, still not looking at me. “When she says something like ‘I am honored to offer myself to you,’ that man might get the wrong impression.”

He somehow managed to speak rapidly and hesitantly at the same time. His voice was panicked and wavering, as if he was expecting everything to come crashing down in the wake of his words.

The wrong impression…

I felt my mouth go dry as I took in the red flush of his cheeks, the timid glimmer in his beautiful eyes, and the tightness of a mouth that I knew was capable of the sweetest smile in the world. Without another thought, I touched his hand, meeting his gaze and holding firm even as the violet depths of his eyes made it difficult to breathe.

“You’re not wrong.” It was only three words, but it felt like I was falling from a great height just by saying them. I waited for his response.

Yamazaki gazed at me for a moment, then took my hand fully in his, carefully weaving our fingers together. He let out a breath, and I was finally rewarded with that soft, shy smile I had grown to love so much. 

“In that case,” he whispered, his voice gentle and intimate, inviting me to lean closer. “All I can offer in return is myself.”

I gasped, my heart stammering desperately as a new, burning hope surged through my body. He reached out with the hand not holding mine, and gently grazed his fingertips against my cheek. He leaned in, and his words caressed my lips as he murmured them so quietly, they could have been mistaken for a prayer.

“Truthfully, there’s no point in offering. I’ve been in your hands since before we came to Edo,” he said as he continued to brush his fingers against my face. “All that I am, all that I ever will be, belongs to you, Yukimura Chizuru.”

A flicker of pain crossed his face, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss it away, but I kept still as he continued. “I don’t know if I will ever deserve you,” he admitted. “But… If you offer yourself to me, if you ask to be mine, I know I’ll be too selfish to turn you away.”

His fingers were still just barely touching my cheek, and I craved more. Was this what it felt for a Fury to long for blood, to have that one thing that they needed to keep their sanity?

Before I could dwell on it too deeply, I pressed my face into Yamazaki’s hand, nuzzling against his palm. He gasped, but didn’t move away. On the contrary, he quickly closed those last few millimeters, so that his forehead was touching mine.

He was so close…

“I’m already yours,” I breathed, closing my eyes and savoring the familiar softness of his slender fingers. I could feel his staccato breaths against my face. “Yamazaki. I am _yours_.”

He barely had to move before his lips were softly pressing against mine. With just that first, careful touch, I could feel myself melting. My thoughts became wordless, then formless, then altogether nonexistent.

His movements were so cautious and light at first, but I could feel the heat pulsating off of him. His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, pressing me closer. He let go of my hand and circled his arm around my waist. All the while, his mouth worked tenderly against mine, his tongue flicking shyly against my bottom lip.

Curious, I tried touching my tongue to his, which led to him letting out a groan and plunging his tongue into my mouth. He stroked lines of sweet fire against my tongue, then onto my lips again. His arm at my waist and his hand on my neck kept me firmly in place, though I knew in my heart that he would immediately release me if I struggled.

Struggling was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to erase any space between us, pressing into him until we were truly one being. Then, I could remain beside and within him forever, safe in his loving embrace, giving him strength whenever he needed it.

Eventually, he pulled back, but it was only for a moment. He let out a breathless laugh as he touched his lips to my mouth, my cheeks, my closed eyelids. I couldn’t help but giggle as he peppered my face with quick, tickling kisses.

I opened my eyes as he drew back fully. His face was brightened by the happiest smile I’d ever seen. His reddened cheeks further highlighted the kind glimmer of his jewel-like eyes. He brushed his thumb against my cheek, and I realized that I had shed a few more tears without realizing it.

“I,” he started, his voice coming out low and husky, making my heart do a nearly-painful flip in my chest. His blush deepened as he hurriedly cleared his throat. 

“I should prepare for tonight,” he finally managed. “We still need to figure out Kodo’s whereabouts, and I don’t think I’ll be able to leave if we stay like this much longer.”

“O-Oh, of course.” I could feel my own face getting hotter as I realized how right he was. Even though I knew what we had to do, in that moment, it would have been so easy to just remain in each other’s arms and forget about the rest of the world.

But we didn’t have that luxury. Not yet.

I let go of his kimono, which I had grasped at some point during our kiss. Yamazaki stood, offering his hand to me and pulling me to my feet in one swift movement.

We stood totally still for a moment, taking in the lingering joy in the other’s face. Then, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly, his mouth carefully tracing the spot he had sipped blood from several times before. His eyes met mine, and I saw a hint of hunger in them. For a moment, I wondered if he would bite down on my hand, taking some of my blood then and there. I knew I wouldn’t have minded if he had.

Instead, he kissed my hand one last time, then let go, taking a step back. “I should prepare,” he said, his voice apologetic, his gaze fixed on my lips. “You don’t need to wait up for-”

“Of course, I’ll be waiting when you come back,” I interrupted. Did he honestly think I’d be able to sleep through his return? “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

His answering smile was so bright, it likely outshone the moon outside. “I will be. How could I do anything less when I have you to return to?”

Reassured, I quickly departed, so that the desire to remain wouldn’t have time to stop me. As I walked away, I could feel Yamazaki’s presence within me. He had claimed my heart, and I his, and that bond would remain strong and steadfast, even if he wasn’t within my sight. These thoughts comforted me as I forced my feet to carry me toward my room, where I’d sleep restlessly until his return.

The stars glittered overhead, a distant comfort on that humid night. I thought again about my father and his Furies, saying a silent prayer that we would be able to defeat him, and that we would both survive to see the end of this war.

It was a prayer of desperation and hope, because we had so much to lose, and so, so much to live for.

**Author's Note:**

> Can I just say that I will be forever disappointed that Yamazaki never got a sexy haircut or Western outfit? Because I am very salty. Not only did he get a meh Edo Blossoms route, but I didn’t even get any fresh eye candy!
> 
> You will be seeing more Yamazaki fics in the near future from me, because my precious angel needs more content. You can also expect much involving Souma, Saito, and the Baka Trio. The other boys will get love as I feel like it. Except Kazama. Sorry, but I hate him. You’re better off hoping for a Yukimura/Shiranui fic (because I absolutely love that cocky asshole).
> 
> In the meantime, I hope all of you are keeping safe out there during this pandemic. Stay home, keep your hopes up, and keep smiling. This will be over soon.
> 
> Peace out!


End file.
